Lately, seem like i have difficulites falling into deep sleep. I knew everything that is happening throughout my sleep, seems like i am in control of myself and my surroundings but not my situation. After a long long night of MJ with the guys till 9am, i was hoping to have a good good night sleep. In my dreams, i dreamt of hugs, dreamt of a girl. No one in particular, maybe deep inside, no not maybe, IT IS, I yearn to be the special one in a person's heart, yearn for somewhere to belong to. The dream was sweet, but was scary for me as well cos sometimes, i really really hope to stay in dreamland, not wanting to face reality. A typical night for me is that although i know what is happening in my surroundings when i'm sleeping, like dad coming home, going out or simply KJ speaking to bell, but i chose to force myself to stay in dreamland, for it is a much sweeter land out there.

 

New Year Resolutions

Today is the first day of 2009. Just had the feel of writing something, maybe a way to organise my life. I have no idea how long can i keep this blog but since i'm here writing, why not?

So ya, since it is a new year, i shall just start with resolutions. To hit the main points first, let's just start with the shallow ones,.

• Be able to save my first $5000 by end 2009
• Improve on my tennis
• Pick up fire poi
• Maintain fitness

Ok, now with the complicated ones, the ones to make me a happier person, those that enrich my thinking and soul

• Do not fall in love easily, remember that ppl are selfish. They will not fall for you truthfully, Quit being a fool and commit urself wholeheartedly, always ended my hurting
• Learn how to be alone, Quit depending ur own happiness on others
• Wear a mask, do not open up ur feeings so easily

Aiya, all in all, gotta learn to be a happier person. Quit expecting and depend on someone else to bring me happiness.

Damn, after typing so much, i dont see me being more organised.

Ok, in short. New year resolutions

1. Save more money
2. Be fit and look fit
3. Be happy!

Now my review for 01/01/2009

Ermm... Freaking short relaxing day... Woke up late, around 1pm. wanted to play tennis but it was raining. Wanted to do some push up or something constructive but down with a flu. Take it as an excuse but i am really lazy, ended my slacking in front of the TV.

Played tennis at 5pm to 7pm, went for dinner with family and xiang. Then continue slacking at home.

Here am i really to organise my life.

See ya again blog!

 

 

Dear Angels,

         i lied to someone i love and lying to him is something he
told me he cannot accept and it hurts him. They were little lies and now, he doesnt know whether to believe me and he thinks everything is basically
bullshit. He told me he would give me a chance to prove my sincerity to him and
thats how i can make it up to him but it has to be something huge. Saying  sorry wont
work. i've written him a 3 page sort of letter that i wanna read to him telling
him the truth. i dont know if that would be enough...what else can i do???

Dear Angels,
                 i did confess to him before. but he had no reaction. he never does. he's one odd guy who never have reactions when somebody tells him they like him. i too think that it is brotherly love. i think i will just continue to be his 'sister' and let nature takes its course!

thank you so much for replying.

                                                                                                                                           blurr


Dear Blurr,
              If you really think it's brotherly love, you better make sure it is nad keep things that way.. Do not fall in love with him again or something as it is not good for the relationship. If you arent sure, do not continue to be his 'sister' cos somehow i feel, when two person treats each other as brother/sister/buddies for too long, it will really really seems funny when they wanna be a couple. Maybe also, as u had said, he doesnt have a reaction.. Why not try demanding one from him.. Perhaps u could ask him how is he feeling?  

             Although i did say give him and yourself some time to sort out, but i dun mean that you should drag this on and on.. Try to give yourself an answer on how u are feeling and perhaps when u are sure, send me a mail again.. Hope to hear from you again..

Evin Elessar Teo aka. ET

Dear Angels,
                 i like this guy from my class. he's very sweet. earlier on, he sent me a smiley giving flowers. i'm not sure whether he likes me. because he said he already liked another girl, so i asked him to be my brother. but, i just heard that he doesn't like that girl. should i ask him whether he likes me?
                                                                                                                                                                          blurr

Dear Blurr,
             I wanna start by apologising for taking some time to reply this mail for yours. Also, i am going to make this response real short and sweet so please do reply back to me.
            I think the best thing for u to do now is to understand him better. Also, try to know the reason why he doesnt like the girl anymore? i mean, i dun think a person could be forgotten so easily. Anyway, so as not to make him confused, give him some time and also, give yourself some time to make sure that you really really like him. ('cos if u dun, having a brother is better for it is more "lasting").. If you really do like him, maybe u could let him know about your feelings instead of asking if he likes you. I think this is much much better.
             I'm going to stop here and please do reply. Anyway, whatever decision you made, i wish you all the best. 

Evin Elessar Teo aka. ET

          

Dear Angels,

I used to have a good guy friend in my previous class. He
was a
very kind-hearted person. As i used to bring my hp to skl, he was afraid tt
it
might be confiscated and bought a phone card for me. He also used to call me
almost every night to talk about homework, etc. He even calls to check
whether i
haf had my meals. Even in the morning before he leaves the house, he calls
to
remind me to haf my breakfast. I may have fallen for him… But because of
HMT, we
had to change classes. Thank goodness he was in the same class as me.
However,
in this new class, he has other male frens and is now avoiding me. I really
haf
no idea of wad he thinks. Was he juz making use of me in the previous class?
Or
was he really my good friend? Wad am I supposed to think or do now?

Love is a bus ride home.
You wait for a bus at your bus stop.
The first bus is crowded, you decided not to board it.
You waited for a while, the second bus came.
It doesn't have an air-condition.
Under the warm weather, you decided to wait on.

Learn to love the people who are with you at present. Forget the people in the past and thank them for hurting you, which led you to love the people you have right now.

When you love someone, you'll do crazy things you can't explain, you'll deny the truth and believe in lies. When you love someone, you sacrifice, give everything you've got and don't think twice. You risk it all no matter what.

Everything in life is temporary because everything changes. That is why it takes courage to love, knowing it might end anytime...having faith will make it last.

Friends are not the one who laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry. They are the ones who make you laugh and stop you from crying.

Love is the feeling we fall in and out of, and every time we fall off, we learn to hold on tighter... hoping that next time, we may never have to let go.

They say when love knocks at your door, open it. But do you know that sometimes love enters through the back door and before you begin to notice it, it's on it's way out.

Have you ever loved only to let it go? Have you ever hated someone and loved him so? Have you ever missed someone so bad it made you cry? Have you ever seen someone left alone without knowing why?

True: Lucky is the man who wins the first love of a woman but luckier is the woman who wins the
last love of a man.

Love is not the right word to say when you feel guilty nor the right word to say when you like a
person but love really matters when we share our thoughts, our minds, and our hearts...

Life has a way of changing things but not the joy that friendship brings, for friendship is like the shining moon, makes each night a brighter one.

Love is not for beauty or color of the skin, but for a heart that is loyal within, for beauty fades and the skin would grow old but a heart that is loyal will turn cold.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

A love is easy to feel, so hard to explain; so easy to get, so hard to let go; so easy to spell, so hard to define...and yet everyone is still taking the risk. That's love!

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in love in mutual weirdness and call it LOVE!

Never be afraid to fall in love. It may hurt a lot, it may give you aches and pain, but if you don't follow your heart; in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.

Don't run ahead of God. Let Him direct your steps. He has plans and He has His time. God's clock is never one minute early nor one minute late. It always strikes right on time.

If someone loves you, love them back not only because they love you, but also becasue they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you have never seen or felt
without them.

The past is meant to be used as a tool for the future. Bad experiences indeed make you bitter but the lessons learned should make you better.

On letting go: it hurts to see someone you love happy with somebody else; but wouldn't it hurt you more to see that person unhappy...with you?

When you find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, lips that will kiss you in both instances, and a heart that will love you at your worst, then you have found true love.

Someday, someone might come into your life and love you in a way you always wanted. If your someday was yesterday, LEARN; if your someday is tomorrow, HOPE; if your someday is today, CHERISH.

Let go of the hand of the person you love, but don't let go of God's hand. For when you hold on to His hand, He may be holding the person you love on the other hand, to let you hold each other again.

Why do people say loving too much makes you stupid? It's because you'll always be wrong even if you're right. You're weak even if you're strong. You give without receiving. You cry, get pains but still say you're happy.

How would you know if you've fallen in love real hard? It's when someone hurts you and you love him still. Then he hurts you again to find out that you love him even more...

We only have one heart, but there are many places in it wherein we keep every person we meet. Somebody whom we know we might never meet again, but will never be forgotten.

Your friends are like buttons on the elevator --- they will either bring you up or take you down. Choose the people you want to call friends, but be sure to get yourself on the right floor.

If you're afraid to love a person because of friendship, you have two choices; either tell what you feel and let love take its place or forever hide the feeling under a friendship full of pretenses.

It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for the one available. Best to wait for the one you love than the one who's around. Best to wait for the right one 'cause life's too short to be wasted on just someone.

If you feel love, don't lose a grip on it, you'll never know the one you let go was the one you waited for all your life.

We can never understand joy till we feel sorrow, faith till we're tested, peace till we're faced with conflicts, trust till we're betrayed, and love till it's gone.

Love is not a matter of finding the right person but rather creating the right relationship. The important question is not how much love there is at the beginning but how much there is at the end.

Sometimes no matter how secure you are in someone's arms and no matter how tightly you hold on to this person's hand, you'll find yourself falling...dangerously in love with someone else...

There are some who catch our site and only few who touch our hearts. Look into your heart and pursue the person you love for it's better to risk than just let love pass you by.

When everything seems to be unfair, when all that you do isn't appreciated, I'll take your hand, wipe away your tears, take you for a walk and tell you everything will be fine.

Sometimes in life you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh till you can't stop. Someone who holds your hand and never lets you go alone in life.

Dear Angels,
                
                 I am lost in this world. Wondering why I am here. My life is horrible. At times, I feel like dying. I wish that I could sleep forever. I feel no purpose in living in this world anymore. I had seen a quote saying that, “Death is the release of pain” I guess it's true. I am totally hopeless. My studies sucks. Nothing is good about me. I am useless. I am often alone. My friends are limited. I hate to be alone. I do not like the sense of loneliness that is within me. I feel so restless and tired at all times. Can’t seem to concentrate in anything. It has been a long time since I am really happy. The worst thing is that I don’t even know how I feel, what I want and what are the desires that I have in my heart. Please help me… Release me from the pain, the pain that had caused miserable to my life. Please… I sincerely begged you…
                
                                                                                                                                          truetrue…

Dear truetrue,

Oh dear, Holy Hell, you seems to be in great trouble.. Tell you what, i will try my best but i think you must try to change ur perception in life as well..  Also, please dun beg me.. i wil try and u are welcome to mail me anytime

To start off, to say that you feel like dying is a damn serious thing. Come on, there are a huge lot of people out there who are ten, twenty, fifty times worst off than you.. Forget those ppl in Africa and whatever place.. They are too far for u to feel for them.. Talk about ppl who lost their parents, who dun have the cash to study, who lost a limb or eyesight (all these,  i think u already have been told, but still i wanna repeat).. Let's not care or talk about why u are here, but the freaking fact is, since u are here, make use of it.. Come on, u wont feeling or be useless if u did contribute to the society... Unless all u did is to lie on ur
couch and watch Simpsons. You want a purpose? Let me give u a purpose... First, be filial to ur parents and secondly, do something u really liked(as in u feel the best when doing/playing it)

And what did u say?? "Death is the release of pain".. Hey,.. i think this refers to patients with cancer or AIDS.. Death is best for them cos else, they would be in constant pain and no cure is available to them.. So pls, quit the 'death' word...

As u had just said, 'u have limited friends'.. which means, u have friends right?? Who cares whether u are popular or u have a thousand friends? Me. myself is one of the most hated guy in class but i still live.. Friends, it's best if u have just a couple of true ones and u can live a lifetime...  What's the pt of having mania of the friends but none are true?

Feeling tired and restless? That got to do with ur mental mindset and ur lack of exercise... for this, i will try to get Mr. Jay Choo the "angel" to answer ...Studies? I cant studyy well.. But the best thing is, STUDY HARD.. this should be the best solution..  

  "The worst thing is that I don’t even know how I feel, what I want and what are the desires that I have in my heart".. All these are later part of ur life... Just live normally and u will get the answer.. I have no answer for these cos it's ur life, not mine.... Dun need to rush with all these answers.. Take your time and u will have the answer


That's as much as i can help u with.. The rest is up to you.. To live happily or just thinking that u wanna be gone from this world, leaving things that are dearly to u behind?.. try looking at things with a positive mindset... Stop treating it like it's the end of everything or that u have contracted AIDS...There are so much nice things around... try taking a short trip to relax, maybe to Desaru or Australia.. And If u dun mind, the angels here will be your friends, so that u wont be alone... If there is stuffs u wanna tell someone or just some crap u wanna share, just send us a mail...  Remember, Life can be fun and meaningful but it can be depressing and stressful, it all depends on how u look at it..

LIFE IS PRECIOUS
Evin Elessar Teo aka. ET

 

Dear Angels,

erm, this may be a dumb question but how do u prevent yourself
from liking someone?

anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Hi anonymous, this is one question i cant give u an answer for i can't control human's feelings. I, myself, is just an ordinary person who has matters of the heart as well.. Maybe what i can do is just some advices which works perfectly for some buddies of mine and  myself..

But anyway, just to sidetrack a little, why would u wanna stop liking someone..There must be a STRONG reason behind this to make you do that. To me, liking someone just simply means liking someone.. Even he/she has a another person, doesnt mean that u dun have the right to fall in love.. If u dun have a proper reason. dun avoid it.. Just follow what your heart deems fit... Sometimes, to like someone can be a type of happiness... Really

Enough of my side-tracking, to answer your question, i think the best way(though it doesn't really work but should be the best way) is to stop seeing/meeting/talking to him/her, at least while u are really liking the person... Really, it helps(based on true accounts)... 
Try not to chill outside alone or have time for urself to daze around.. For me, i like to stay at a buddy's place, for there is someone i can talk to.. 
If not, the lamest and stupidest way is just to get another gf or bf.. but i think this is unfair to everyone.. For me, simple.. Like someone,let him/her know then let nature take its courses...

Hopefully, those few ideas helps... All the best!!

                                                                                                                                                 Evin Elessar Teo aka. ET